So, I have been a little busy this week, which is why I have no little story for you, my avid readers (all three of you). Here is a little break down:
Sunday:
All day hilarity. My youth minister friend, who I will call Hank, was preaching for the first time since college, I think. Twice, no less, one for the church and one for a youth rally. So church went well. Well, mostly. I work the slides and one of the youths was the worship leader that day. He does wonderful work and I think it is fair to say that he is gifted. However, he doesn't stay on script all the time, or even most of the time. This is fine for the congregation because he is really in to it and so they follow suit. But for me, who has all the slides lined up, well…it makes me look like a fool! That's fine. The youth group had a fundraiser lunch for a summer event. Tacos FTW. Went home, read a little, then went back to church to go with the youths to hear my buddy preach again. Both sermons went well. He has a little to learn but I think that has more to do with growing comfortable with preaching. The best preachers are themselves at the pulpit. His theology is solid, he loves Jesus and preaches Him, and he listens to a ton of preaching as well as being naturally a good communicator. We went out to eat afterwards, lots of fun. Went home and slept.
Monday:
Not a lot happened on Monday. Filled out an application for a pizza delivery job, checked on prices to get my car worked on, and screwed around on YouTube. A little reading, a little sorting and cleaning, and then sleep.
Tuesday:
I listened to Mark Driscoll's sermon on Men and Marriage from a couple Sundays ago and got owned in the face. Short version is that I have lived as a coward, and truly I still struggle with it, as you will see below. On the plus side, Jesus loves me and is working on me. Hooray! I then started my new project: praying for Temple College. I wandered the campus for an hour, praying over buildings and any people I saw. I thought about implementing stage two, which was to ask the staff if they need help with anything, along with anybody else who looked like they could use a hand. However, I wussed out. Next was an interview for the pizza delivery job. I will start next week. It's not much but then I don't need much and it leaves my schedule available to be of service in whatever way God leads me. Then I went over to Hank's house and helped with some cleanup in prep for a baby shower his wife (who I will call Hally) was throwing today (or Saturday, since I didn't post it right away). Then went and helped my neighbor with some grounds keeping work at his church. We mowed the lawn and watered the lawn and plants. He gave me $40 for two hours work (I told him it was only an hour and a half but he wouldn't have it). I would have done it for free but all the same, it is appreciated. Read, sleep, repeat.
Wednesday:
Implemented stage two for Temple College, with some intriguing results. As it happened, the college was having its Spring Fling. Lots of food and activities as well as a live band. I took a look and then went on and prayed and read the Bible a bit. I thought about checking if anybody needed help there but wussed out again. So I went across campus to the Administration building and started asking there. Well, one of the staff was a Christian and she suggested that I go see if they needed any help with the cleanup of Spring Fling. I said I would check it out, all the while thinking "Okay, God, I get it." So I head back across campus, ask a few people, and someone bites. A couple student organizations had teamed up to raise money for a potential homeless shelter, along with the start of a clothing drive. So I helped them cleanup and then we went to go set up boxes for the clothing drive. It was a bizarre experience. The group was made up of a white guy who had started and organization called Students Improving Lives Together (SILT); a black and extremely gay guy who was with True Colors, which is connected to the Gay, Straight, and Lesbian Alliance; and a white girl, and I'm not sure which organization she was a part of. Pretty diverse and I didn't really think I would meet any students so soon. The conversation at first was pretty standard banter for the first hour or so and then turned extremely sexual for the last hour. And the two guys were both Christians. Welcome to TC and to the Bible Belt.
Finished up there then went over to my buddy's house for a little more cleaning before heading to church. I sat in with the youth group (I'm kind of like a de facto intern for Hank and Hally, which is fine by me). The lesson was from James and we talked about what is holding us back from God, what things we weren't giving up. I said fear, which is true. What was strange is that when it came time to pray, I was the last person, and I was just nailed. I was crying, which usually happens when the Holy Spirit was on me. I said, "I am a coward and I'm awkward, and I don't know why because I have seen how awesome You are. Lord, if I am left sitting in the ashes of my life, I want to find joy because I have You." I meant every word, but I am rarely that honest, let alone with teenagers. But the teens really seemed to connect; a couple were even encouraged. Yea, Holy Spirit! Went back to Hank's and painted a little. Went home and slept.
Thursday:
Went to TC, read and prayed. The prayer lasted longer than expected, which I found strange. Went to check if one person was in but she was out that day. As I am about to leave, I bump into the guys from the other day. They are about to gather up the first load of clothes and take them to the Salvation Army. I help them count the clothes and then we load them in my car. The white guy and his sister ride in his car while the black guy and I follow along. I chat a little with my passenger, nothing big. We drop off the clothes (where I found a decent microwave for $10) and then look at a possible location for the shelter. There is an abandoned nursing home by the school that would work nicely but the price is $900,000. We'll see what happens.
Went from there to the church building to meet Hank and our other friend. We then had a two hour debate on the future of the church. They had talked about an idea earlier in the week and were telling me about it. I was pretty adamantly against it because of some of the implications. So we hashed it out and made our cases. The debate ended on the up and up and I think I got my points across as well as listened to theirs because the following day we were pretty well on the same page (I know I am skipping ahead…sorry). Kept an eye on my buddy's kids so he could take a nap and his wife could read and clean before life group at their house. Their kids are pretty awesome and we had a nice time. Had life group, went home, and then tried to sleep for several hours. I was bugged by church things, mostly the lack of spiritual maturity, but I eventually nodded off.
Friday:
Got up before 8 am, which is weird for me. Went to TC, read and prayed. I went to some other offices scattered around campus. No help needed but the people seemed to appreciate it, even though it surprised them. Not an unusual reaction. What was strange is that one woman wanted me to stop asking. She said, "I don't think we can take solicitations here." "But I don't want a job, I just want to help," I replied. "I know, but still." "Well, okay." Apparently she was so disturbed by a Christian wanting to help at random, just out of a desire to serve, that she shut me out. I know I am a big guy and all, but all the same, it was odd. I did, however, get to pray for one very nice lady as well as have a conversation about John's relationship to Jesus (short story, Jesus is the best youth minister, ever). So, all in all, I count it as a win.
Went back to apartments to grab a shovel from my neighbor and took his battery to Auto Zone. Then I went to my buddy's for more baby shower prep. Dug up some shrub stumps, ran a few errands. My friend asked why I was helping him so much. That question worried me. I find most ministers feel that they are not entitled to the same grace that they offer. I asked him, "Who ministers to you?" "No one." "Well, I'm here to help, and frankly, you are awful at asking for help." He'll work on that.
Then I went home. I had an interesting conversation with one of my older neighbors. Apparently multiple people in the complex think I am a minister. Not exactly, in that it is not my profession, just my life. Anyway, he asked how long I had been in ministry. So I told him a little about my life, school and working for my Dad and struggling with pornography (actually, struggling is the wrong word; failing would be more accurate), and I was about to tell him what God was bringing about in my life when he asked why I looked at porn. The simple answer is that it was easy, which is no excuse. Sin is sin, no doubt about it. So he was talking to me about that and that it would affect my ministry and that lust was the real issue, at least in his own sort of folksy way. I didn't disagree with him, partly because he wasn't entirely wrong and partly because he was older than me, and I am big on respecting my elders. In the end, it wasn't anything I hadn't heard before. But I think he was missing something. Every person mentioned in Scripture has their faults listed out, and they get pretty bad. Peter's betrayal of Jesus and Paul's persecution of the Church come to mind. Why does Scripture mention these failings? Because the plans of God are not dependant on the quality of His servants but on His power and wisdom. In fact, God often picks the worst recruits for His glory. Which is why I have to be honest about my life. Because if God loves a slacker like me, if He is willing to use a former porn-addict in His kingdom, then why not you? Anyway, I listened and then went to my apartment and went to bed, pretty early at that. Long day.
Saturday:
And then there is today. I spent about five and a half hours helping my buddy and his wife get ready for the baby shower. Cleaning some fancy, pink dishes (girls, am a right), sweeping the porch, and cleaning the rooms. No individual task was major, but combined it was quite a bit. Spent the next hour and a half talking with my friend while we watched the guests' children. There weren't a ton but they were rambunctious so we had to stay on our toes. Came home and typed all this. In doing so, I noticed a pattern I had not seen before: every day had cleaning of some sort. I don't know what that means yet but I'll post if I come up with anything. And now, I will read the Bible a bit, play a little Civ 4, and then go to sleep. Sunday is often busy, but it is always interesting. And a new day is a new chance to serve the God I love, the God who loves me better than I have ever loved Him. But He's teaching me.
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